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We’ve just completed our first piece of digital work for The Famous Grouse – a shiny microsite called ‘The Famous Dad Dance’ aimed at (you guessed it) whisky-loving dads. The site itself is targeted at their adult children, who can upload a shot of their dad and create a film of him doing a typically embarrassing dad-like dance, before sending it onto the man in question and sharing it with friends and family.

It’s all been done in time for Father’s Day this year (Sunday 21st June). It’s currently just running in the UK and South Africa but with users from as far afield as India and the US, we’re sure it won’t be long before other markets pick it up. A big thank you to a couple of our very own dads here at Albion, who leant us their mug shots to use in some tasty banners: Mark T and Clive – take a bow. You’re nearly as famous as the grouse… ish.

1. Amplify your history

Find an anniversary. 150 years. 100 years. 25 years. 3 months and 6 days since your CEO got some. Whatever. Grab hold of it. Design a commemorative logo. Revert to your old logo. Put it on a poster. Print it on some hand-screened bunting with your reissued product laid out in a wheelbarrow full of straw. Make it smell like 100 years ago. Don’t have any history? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

2. Give your customers access to the top.

Print your CEO’s direct line on your napkins. Print your CEO’s wife’s mobile number on your website. Invite criticism. Acknowledge your mistakes. PR your mistakes. Run an apology ad with a witty headline. Invite your biggest critic to an open debate. Invite them to dinner, with a film crew. Admit they might have a point. Don’t want to open yourself up? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

3. Give back to the community

Create an event. Create entertainment. People need entertainment. Make it free. No, make it cost a tenner but print a t-shirt and give the profits to charity; after you cover your costs. Make the event micro local. Have a street party. Now pump it global. Have a street party in every goddam street in every goddam neighborhood in every goddam suburb in the world! Sell street stalls to every multinational business on the planet. Too much hassle? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

3. Crowdsource your marketing

Find your fans. Give them the tools. Let them evangelise the shit out your business. 1000 monkeys, 1000 typewriters. Wait for art. Place the content in a Superbowl slot. Unbranded. With a 3 minute user generated content back-story. Don’t have fans?  Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

5. Go green

Make your packaging compostable. Make your packaging factory compostable. Go carbon neutral. No, go carbon positive. Plant 6 rainforests for every sheet of A4 you company consumes. Get your customers to do the planting in exchange for green points redeemable against 6 participating green household utility companies. Now. Design a logo for it – make it look handmade. Crochet it out of hemp. Pump it on solar powered, ethically sourced, timber billboards. Happy pillaging the planet? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

6. Create a cause and effect

Selling batteries? Give two packs of batteries to the third world for every packet you sell. Hell, give the third world a torch and some batteries for every pack you sell. No, give the third world a torch factory and two packets of batteries for every pack you sell. Don’t need another cause? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

6. Give your minnows a voice

Find your lowliest minnow. Preferably middle-aged and a single parent. Give them a blog. Give them a megaphone. Make them the voice of the company. Let them construct a stand-alone customer service sub brand that hates your business. Or just make them CEO.  Don’t want to promote a minnow? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

7. Invent a new local product line

Everyone likes local. Even if you’re a global behemoth raping the planet, you can still do local. Time to add a new product line. Find a local business that makes things by hand, preferably hand-reared on their own property. Give the local community the profits to build a new library. Everyone likes books. But most importantly be OPEN about your involvement. You want to bask in the warm glow. And the locals need your authentically locally-laundered cash. Run out of new ideas? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

8. Create an unexpected product experience

Got High Street shops? Create a pop up tent in people’s back garden. They will like you and be excited by your spontaneity. Flogging a packaged good? Create a giant community version of it and let people suck the udders of your civic spirit. Can afford to be unexpected? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

9. Fail a little

People love to see others fail. And they especially like to see companies fail. So invest in some failure. Aim for the stars but really, aim to make a giant arse of your brand. People will like you for it. And it feeds back into Number 2. There are many ways to fail, but it’s most important that you give people something to talk about. Change your service. Make it more complicated so you can say sorry and recognise that the customer was right. Invest in a new corporate identity and completely ignore your product or service. Or sell your customer data. All great ways to appear to be more human. Prefer reliable success? Get a corporate dog. Make it Twitter.

10. Get a pet

Everyone likes animals. Have you seen the hits funny cats get on YouTube? Get a corporate animal. If you get in quick you can still exploit the cute cat/dog thing. Make it real. Make it open. But most importantly, make it Tweet.